In a world obsessed with hustle culture — 5 a.m. routines, constant productivity, and the glorification of burnout — what if the true key to performance is… kindness? Like in the fable of the tortoise and the hare, could slower and steadier not only take us farther — but deeper?
In high-performance sports, athletes are often conditioned to believe that extreme self-discipline, pushing through discomfort and setting ambitious goals, are the key to success. While these traits can drive progress, they can also lead to self-criticism, stress, and burnout.
Freediving (the sport of diving as deep as possible on a single breath) challenges that paradigm. It doesn’t reward brute strength or adrenaline. It rewards surrender. Calm. Trust.
When I set out to become a certified freediving instructor, I decided to explore a question that felt deeply personal and surprisingly under-discussed: Could self-compassion be a performance enhancer in a sport that is as psychological as it is physical?
To find out, I combined literature research with interviews with coaches and top athletes. What I discovered not only deepened my approach to freediving — it offered valuable tools for life above the surface, too.
What is self-compassion and why does it matter for performance?
Sometimes we can be our greatest “enemies,” judging quite harshly our actions, performances, successes, and failures. As defined by researcher Kristin Neff, self-compassion invites us to treat oneself with kindness rather than self-criticism, recognising that failure is a shared human experience, and maintaining a balanced perspective on setbacks.
In sports, we’re often taught that self-criticism fuels discipline. But too much of it can backfire. Research shows that chronic self-judgment increases stress, anxiety, and fear of failure, factors that impair learning and performance. It can even lead to burnout.
Here is where “freediving with kindness” or with self-compassion plays a key role.
The misconception: Is self-compassion a “weakness”?
One of the biggest barriers to implementing self-compassion practices in sports is this belief, coupled with the fear that it will make athletes complacent. However, if we look at research (and common sense!) the opposite seems to be true.
Studies show that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience and that it can motivate us to reach our goals. For instance, in a study by Killham et al., athletes who scored higher in self-compassion were more motivated, bounced back faster from setbacks, and improved more consistently.
Freediving isn’t just physical, it’s deeply psychological, often described as a spiritual practice. That means mental strength isn’t about toughness; it’s about knowing when to hold yourself gently. This makes psychological resilience a key component of performance.
Insights from top athletes on self-compassion
Some of the world’s foremost freedivers were interviewed on this subject. Here is what they had to say:
Alessia Zecchini (World’s deepest woman — 123m on one breath)
“For me, self-compassion in freediving means accepting my limits without judging myself, learning from mistakes without being dragged down by frustration, and remembering that every experience—positive or negative—is part of my growth. It’s essential to treat ourselves with the same kindness we’d offer a friend, because deep down, our greatest ally is ourselves.”
Cristian Castaño Villa (Colombian freediving champion)
“Self-compassion is a must in this sport. This doesn’t mean all training sessions have to be easy—high performance in freediving requires getting close to your own limits.”
Federico Mana (Italian freediving champion and EQ expert)
“I’m not sure I’m the best person to talk about self-compassion — mostly because I’m not sure of having truly practiced it. What I’ve worked on is awareness. I follow the Moving Limits philosophy: giving your 100% — whatever that looks like today. Every day, I approach my limits with respect… and that’s how they slowly shift. Maybe self-compassion and awareness aren’t so different after all.”
Sol Schmitz (Ecuadorian freediving champion)
“Top athletes in any sport have understood that failure is part of the process; it’s part of the journey to becoming the best. It’s seen as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than something negative.”
These reflections show that even the most accomplished athletes face challenges, doubts, and failure; the difference is in how they respond. Instead of self-criticism, they lean into self-kindness, learn from their mistakes, and ask for support when needed.
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Insights from coaches on self-compassion
To broaden the perspective, I interviewed 17 freediving seasoned coaches, men and women from different nationalities, many of whom were former athletes and record holders themselves. This blend of coaching and first-hand experience offered rich insights into how self-compassion plays a role in high-performance training.
Almost 90% of coaches observed their athletes being too hard on themselves, and nearly 70% had witnessed burnout linked to self-judgment. In their words, the problem isn’t lack of discipline, it’s the absence of emotional tools.
While some still believed a degree of self-criticism could fuel improvement, the majority (88.2%) viewed self-compassion as a sign of mental strength and wisdom, not weakness. Over 70% believed it directly enhances freediving performance.
One of the most striking findings: more than 80% had seen burnout in athletes caused by unrealistic expectations and harsh inner dialogue. And 41% had experienced it themselves.
Asked how high-performance freedivers react to failure, the coaches said:
- “People are different — some are really hard on themselves, some throw tantrums. I’ve seen divers throwing equipment around after a failed dive, while others retreat inward and become very quiet. A few — very few — use failure as a learning tool.”
- “Top athletes in any sport have understood that failure is part of the process; it’s part of the journey to becoming the best. It’s seen as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than something negative.”
Practical applications for freediving — and life
Freediving demands more than physical fitness, it requires a finely tuned balance of technique, focus, and surrender. To perform at our best, we need strategies that support both the body and the mind, without falling into the traps of ego or self-judgment.
Drawing from Kristin Neff’s core self-compassion framework, and echoed by the insights from this study, here are a few practices that can help freedivers (and anyone navigating performance under incresing pressure) stay grounded, motivated, and resilient:
- Reconnect with your “why”
Go beyond numbers and clarify your deeper motivation — whether it’s growth, curiosity, connection, or peace. A strong sense of purpose builds long-term engagement and resilience. - Choose kindness over self-judgment
When setbacks arise, replace harsh inner dialogue with gentle awareness. Acknowledge the difficulty without blame. “This is really hard right now. How can I support myself in this moment?” - Embrace common humanity over isolation
Mistakes are not personal flaws, they are part of being human. “This is normal. I’m not the only one who has experienced this.” - Practice mindfulness over over-identification
One failed attempt does not erase your entire progress. Learn to see it in context. “This is what I do, not who I am.”
These tools are not just freediving performance enhancers, they can be applied to nearly every area of life: work, relationships, creativity. They help us keep diving, creating, and growing, without sinking in the process.
Surrender: to the depths of the sea, and the depths within us
Some think of it as a battle against limits, others as an exploration of the self. One thing is sure, freediving is not just measured in meters but in trust, patience, and the ability to relax and let go. Through this research, we set out to explore whether self-compassion could be a transformative tool for performance — not only in freediving, but in life.
The findings, both from research and this empirical research, confirm what many great athletes have instinctively known: failure is not the enemy, but a Teacher. And yet, many freedivers remain caught in cycles of harsh self-criticism and unattainable goals.
Freediving is often described as a deeply personal, even spiritual practice. It teaches us humility, patience, and respect for the ocean, but we must also learn to extend those same qualities to ourselves.
Here, we offer a change of approach to both training and coaching: from “no pain, no gain” to “freediving with kindness.” This training method suggests that if we truly wish to unlock our full potential, we must embrace failure not as a threat, but as part of the journey.
In the end, perhaps the goal is not to conquer the depths — or the promotion, or the podium — but to learn to be at peace while doing it.
Editor’s Note: The opinions expressed here by the authors are their own, not those of Impakter.com — Cover Photo Credit: Israel Gil.
